IT'S TIME FOR A #WRECKONING
HIDE YA PHONES, HIDE YA NUDES, HIDE YA SIDECHICKS... THEY HACKING EVERYBODY OUT HERE.
site update here!
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This would be any article quotes or quotes from your faux celeb, or a quoted source like information about an upcoming movie role, album, tv appearance, charity appearance, and so on so forth.

This box is going to expand to fit whatever text you put inside the blockquote tags, but I'm trying to make this stretch so you can see how it looks but I'm running out of things to say blah blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda yadda text text text stuff stuff stuff and voila, BOX!
And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo!

And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo! And then all the update shit goes here, woo!
kris jenner has a sex tape!

ABSOLUTELY NOBODY WANTS TO SEE IT! EVER! But is anybody surprised? No? Those apples had to fall from somewhere, amirite?! Just kidding, let's all hope she doesn't actually have one.

Since TMZ probably doesn't employ people that can successfully write more than one paragraph at a time without hurting themselves, their articles are usually super short. With lots of exclamation points to make you feel this is breaking news! Also so you don't notice they don't write these things with any kind of personality or effort! And they're full of bolded names like Charlie Sheen! And … so many … ellipses.

This is about as long as this type of article gets. Unless some real shit went down, then you might get four or even FIVE line breaks. And sometimes there's a half-assed zinger that isn't really witty! Like this article lasted about as long as Eddie Murphy's singing career.